Take for instance Valentine’s Day.  Over here it’s pretty close to what I’m used to, but they only went half-way.  In Japan it is traditional for girls to give chocolates to the men of their dreams.  And their co-workers.  For the men, it is traditional to do… nothing.  For men there is a separate holiday called White Day.  It’s like the other half of Valentine’s Day, and it came this week on the 14th.  This time the women do nothing while the men get their chance to express love and/or professional proximity to the women in their lives.  I consider this system something an upgrade, mostly because it gives us guys an extra month to procrastinate… er, I mean plan something special.

At least, that’s how it should be.  Things get a bit muddled  in an international relationship.  And by muddled, of course, I mean completely unfair.  This is the conversation I had most recently with my wife on how we would celebrate Valentine’s Day:

Me: So, what are you getting me for Valentine’s Day this year?

My Wife: Oh, I don’t know.  What are you getting for me?

Me: Well, I thought since we were in Japan, we should do it the Japanese way.  I’ll be sure to get you something of equal or lesser value on White Day.

My Wife: Oh, but you’re American, so you should do it the American way.

Me: OK, you want to exchange gifts at the same time, then?

My Wife: Yes, that’s much better.  That way I can easily wait for White Day.

Me: Why would you wait for White Day if I’m giving you your present this month?

My Wife: That’s my Valentine’s Day present.  I’m Japanese, so you should get me a White Day present also.

Me: Hey, wait a minute, you said we were doing it the American way..

My Wife: No, I said YOU were doing it the American way.  I’m doing it the Japanese way.

Me: Well, I’m only going to get you one present.

My Wife: OK, that’s fine, but I’ll still be waiting on White Day.

Me: Waiting for what?

My Wife: Just… waiting.

And thus I became inexorably locked into buying an extra gift.  However you work it, combining the two traditions ends up in me buying two gifts and only getting one in return.  Even writing down and looking over the conversation again, I’m still not exactly sure how she did it.  I guess that’s the power of Woman.  My wife says that it’s just an extra chance to show her I love her.  It’s really hard to argue with that!

When planning the trip, we had a bit of trouble deciding whether to stay at a resort and relax or to go sightseeing on a bus tour.  Specifically, the problem was that I preferred the former and she the latter.  Finally, as is important in any relationship,  we were able to come to a comprise and do exactly what she wanted.  Even after a year of being married, I’m still not quite sure how that works!  It was a good decision, though, and we really had a wonderful time.  But if you know anything about Japanese tours,  you know that they’re famous for packing an inordinate amount of activities into an absurdly small amount of time.  To give you a sense of just how true this is, here is an actual (translated) quote from our tour guide:

Ladies and gentleman, we have arrived at the Peace Memorial Park.  On the hill to the left there is a Peace Museum. Over to your right you can see the garden area with over 300 memorial stones.  Straight ahead, past the large memorial statue, is the Peace Plaza, where you can see the flame of peace as well as a wonderful view of the Okinawan coastline.  We’ll meet back at the bus in 20 minutes.  Please take your time.

My favorite part, of course,  is the “Please take your time” at the end, which must have been included simply for politeness, as it certainly didn’t serve any practical purpose.  And to top it all off, we were still subject to the world-famous Japanese culture of promptness.  I’m still not exactly sure how the system works, but the rule seems to be that the best time to arrive at any appointment is five minutes ago.  So we were constantly apologizing for arriving five minutes early as opposed to the preferred ten.  At any rate, it was in this manner that we were able to see nearly all the noteworthy sites in Okinawa in the space of just three days.

I know it sounds pretty hectic, but we did actually have some time to relax, as we finished touring each day by at least 5:30.  I believe this was something that the group really appreciated, considering most of the members were over fifty.  This included one especially interesting gentleman who, after learning that I was American, proceeded to salute me each time we met.  Needless to say, I wasn’t quite sure what to do with that.  After all was said and done, it was really an amazing trip and the perfect way to celebrate a wonderful first year of marriage.  It’s really too bad, though;  I would have made some very nice origami.

Don’t get me wrong, there are a great deal of magical things that happen when you get married!  For example, going through something as difficult as a wedding together creates a great sense of connection, an almost unbreakable bond.  This is important, as it also opens up the floodgates of, um.., honesty.  Obviously, this is a good thing!  However it can be a bit unnerving at times.  It definitely takes some getting used to.  Simply as a point of reference for the uninitiated, I present a recent conversation I had with my wife about the site’s design:

Me:  OK, I think I’ve finally finished designing the site.  What do you think?

My Wife:  Hmmm….

Me:  Hmmm…?

My Wife: It needs a Geisha.

Me:  A Geisha?  Why?

My Wife:  It’s not fun right now.  I don’t want to read it.  A Geisha would be more fun.

Me:  Oh…  If I put a Geisha on it, would you want to read it?

My Wife:  Maybe.

Me:  Well.. Where do you think I should put it?

My Wife:  Anywhere.

Me: …….OK.  I’ll think about it.

It might seem kind of harsh!  But the point she makes is a good one.  Overall, the feel of the site is a bit dark and not necessarily representative of the humor and fun that I intend to put into it.  So, while I do consider it to be done for the most part, it’s by no means permanent.  And as any artist can attest to, an honest critic is one of the greatest assets you can have.  Basically, my point is that if you ever see any random Geishas pop up on the site, you’ll know why.